What do I say to the aliens that abduct me every night? They kind of look my sister :/ (in case anyone wants to know what aliens look like…)

Dear alien hostage, 

Nice to know your sister is out of this world 🙂 As for your alien problem, ask not what you can do for the aliens but what the aliens can do for you. Maybe they just want a humanoid friend! 

Good luck,

– Creampuff

There’s this one girl in the junior class that just amazes me. She beautiful, talented, funny and so much more. Should I reach out and tell her how I feel even though we’ve never talked? Or should I stay silent and love her from a distance 😩?

Dear awestruck student,

Well first, no matter what you decide, you need to love from a distance. At least 6 feet of a distance in fact. But on the more serious side, I think you should tell her. That is the highest form of compliment! 

With love,

– Creampuff

Why the crud bucket cant i get the guy i like to like me back

Crud bucket tuning in here! Have you asked said guy if he likes you back, or is it speculation? If you haven’t asked, consider doing it- only if you’re comfortable with doing so! Even if he doesn’t like you back, don’t worry; there are plenty of creampuffs in the world.

Ciao,

-Creampuff

Why creampuff

Dear existential questioner,

That question is not why creampuff, it is how creampuff? How is a delightful pastry giving the world’s most incredible advice?

Toodles,

-Creampuff

Did you know Brittoes is an animos?

Dear gibberish speaker, 

I don’t know what that means, and google translate can’t tell if that is French or German. Because of my lack of knowledge on the topic, I will say… Yes, I do know that. Creampuff knows all. You may underestimate my mind reading capacities. I may look sweet, but I hold many secrets.

Bonne Journée,

-Creampuff