“Who are you?”

This a question many have asked, but one not many have gotten the answer to: Who am I? I am Creampuff. I am otherwise known as a profiterole, and I originate from France. I am often topped with confectionary powder. However, I understand your curiosity. It’s not every day you get expert advice from a wordsmith like myself, especially when they’re a pastry. You never know, maybe I’m just a metaphor. Maybe I’m not really a Creampuff at all. 😉

P.S.… That’s a joke. I am a real Creampuff.

That’s what’s shakin’ bacon,

– Creampuff 

“How do I ask out my crush”

Now this, this is a question I get asked often. I have dabbled in many things, and romance is one of my many fortes. How you should ask your crush out depends on what their personality is like. First, consider a few things. Are they a person who would enjoy being asked out with a romantic spectacle, or would their personality indicate that they would rather have something quieter and more personal? Also, consider the probability that they will say yes. Maybe don’t ask your crush out in front of a group of people if you’re unsure if they will take kindly to the gesture.  I wish you the best in your romantic escapades. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!

Kraken’ and lackin’,

– Creampuff

“What should I do with people shouting at 12pm on weekdays?”

This is a wonderful question and a very important one at that. My first suggestion would be to talk to your R.As. They are there to help you in any way they can to insure your quality of living during your time at MacDuffie. Ask them to schedule a time to meet, and stress to them the impact the late-night hooting and hollering has had on you. Disruptions in sleep can lead have a lot of negative impacts on your health. Depending on your comfort level with your dormmates, you could have a conversation with them and ask them to quiet down. If all else fails and noises persist, bring the problem up with the Head of Boarding or the Dean of Students.

I wish you the best of luck.

Your favorite poignant pastry,

– Creampuff

“Yes”

No.

L8er loser,

– Creampuff

“What came first? The chicken or the egg?”

While it may seem ridiculous that you have just asked a talking creampuff one of the most important philosophical questions of all time, I have the answer to this question. In all of my time as a puff pastry, I have learned a lot about life. So, to answer your question, what came first was the …

Sorry, I’ve been suddenly summoned to business.

Gotta run. I have important presidential matters to attend to.

See ya,

– Creampuff