The Magnet’s anonymous advice columnist is here to answer all your questions and concerns. Drop her a letter in his special box in the library. They will be so happy to help!


Creampuff, Advice Columnist

Question: What happens if you play video games?

Answer: Video games are evil. If you play video games, you are 100% likely to be an unproductive member of society. This is not fake news.


Question: What should you do teacher doesn’t show up and you leave and feel super guilty?

Answer: You shouldn’t feel too guilty, from what I’ve heard, the 15 minute rule is COMPLETELY legit. No teacher will ever get mad for you leaving if more than 15 minutes have passed.  Don’t go to the front office to tell anyone, just pack your bags, and take a nap in the student center.


Question: I am getting low grades recently.  What should I do?

Answer: At this point in the quarter, it’s too late to turn back. You have two options: work your hardest to try to improve your grades and mostly likely still come up short, OR phone it in. I recommend Option Two. It’s getting nice out and there’s like one day of class left. Whatever you’ve messed up over the course of this quarter, I assure you it cannot be fixed in one day. Take a breath, focus on exams, maybe talk to that nice puff pastry you’ve been eyeing.